cry.

nothing feels better than completely
letting go and crying.
crying away all your pains and just copletely surrendering to the urge to release.
a release filled with deep sobs and warm
salty flowing tears.
nothing feels worse
then not being able to.
wishing that the weeping would just start.
start now that i am finally behind closed doors.
and wishing the floodgates would open.
but noting.
nothing but a big stirring block of energy in my chest.
sitting. like a dormant storm cloud.
hovering.
haunting.
not really sure when it will erupt.
ribcage closing in.
heart floating.
wishing it would just come.
leave me.
evaporate.
instead.
it would rather stay in me.
and haunt me.
with little
hints of pain.
that swell up my eyes half full.
then to disappear.
why?
i want to release.
to surrender.
i am throwing the towel in.
i am letting go.
please tears.
leave me.
i want you gone.
not forever.
but for now.